Winter's Chill
by Kafunshou Queen
Summary: Kaname is not himself, and Zero can't help but notice the pureblood's distress. Can he admit to himself that he cares? Not-so-implied Kaname/Ichiou abuse.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own _Vampire Knight_. I just play with the characters to suit my own twisted desires.**

Silence dominated the cramped room. All eyes were on an uncomfortable-looking pureblood as he awkardly raised a teacup to his lips, attempting to regain his fragile composure. There was the sharp clink of the teacup as he replaced it in its saucer, and then silence once more.

Finally, after what seemed an eternity to Kaname, the chairman cleared his throat. 'Kaname-kun, I was aware that your relationship with Ichijo-sama was rather strained, but I hadn't realised that... well, I hadn't realised you felt quite that way....'

Kaname replayed his outburst of mere moments ago and winced inside. Yes, he really had, in front of all present, used a word (actually, several words) to describe his former guardian that he would never normally use in front of Yuuki or the chairman. Or even Zero, for that matter. Kuran Kaname never swore. He never lost his cool. At least, not in front of people.

Out of a need for something to occupy him, he picked up the teacup again and cradled it in his hands, meeting the chairman's somewhat bemused gaze.

'I apologise, chairman. And Yuuki.' Kaname's eyes brushed over each of them, including Zero in a wordless apology, although he knew Zero could care less about his outburst. Even so, he tried to ignore the intent way Zero was watching him. 'I shouldn't have said such things about my former guardian. But I would rather not see him. Our relationship is more.. strained... than you can imagine, chairman.'

'But it's been what... three years? Since you last saw him? Perhaps you'll find things are different now, Kaname-kun. You should give him a chance.'

At that, something dark flared in Kaname's eyes, and he glanced downwards to hide the whirlpool of emotion. Give him a chance? If the bastard had a chance, he would certainly take it. And do exactly what he'd done to Kaname for all of those years under his roof. Kaname was no child anymore, but he knew that that would mean nothing to the old man. Ichiou knew too much about Kaname, knew how to make him weak and knew how to threaten him. He knew how to take away what was important to the young pureblood, and these days, Kaname had more to lose. He had a feeling that now, more than ever before, his former guardian would be able to manipulate him.

'Perhaps you're right, chairman. But I'd like to think about it. Please leave it to me. I will get in touch with him and make my excuses, if need be.' The pureblood rose, said his goodbyes, gave Yuuki an affectionate peck on the cheek and followed as the chairman saw him out to the front door.

A certain silver-haired vampire was left contemplating the strange expression that he had never before seen on the regal pureblood's face. Though Zero would never admit it out loud, it made him want to reach out with a warm hand and comfort the older boy. Kuran had been acting so oddly. And that expression...

Was Kuran... frightened?

Two weeks later, the four of them were once again in the same cosy room as before, drinking the same hot tea that served to warm all of them but one. Kaname had barely said a word since he had arrived. Yuuki and Cross were currently engaged in some inane conversation or other, and Zero watched as Kuran listened to their chat with a blank expression, his mind obviously somewhere far away.

Zero couldn't quite figure out what was wrong with the pureblood. Usually, he was his annoying, charming self, full of delightful conversation that both Yuuki and the chairman lapped up like over-enthusiastic puppies. Usually, Zero felt like punching Kuran square in face, just to see if he could remove that arrogant, and yet, oh-so-pleasant tilt of the lips. Kuran was more than good-looking enough without having to smile.

Today, however, was very unusual. Zero had not fully realised until he had noticed the lack of that familiar urge to attack the pureblood. Instead, he found himself watching Kuran rather closely, trying to decipher the shifting shades of his eyes and see past the cracks in his careful mask. As far as he could tell, Kuran had been unsuccessful in refusing a visit from Takuma's grandfather. As a result, the old vampire was scheduled to be here in about a week, just a few days after the mass exodus that was the rest of the students leaving for the winter holidays. Odd timing, Zero thought. Kuran would be alone in the Moon Dorms. He had said no more than necessary on the subject, and so Zero had been left to glean for himself what he could from the situation, as he was now doing.

Given that the pureblood clearly had no love for Ichijou, it was understandable that he would not be looking forward to his visit. And on the surface, Kuran certainly seemed a little put out. Yuuki and Cross had, of course, noticed that Kaname was not his usual self, but they obviously weren't watching him as closely as Zero was.

To Zero, this... this was different from just being disappointed and put out. Kuran had undergone a complete transformation, albeit very subtly. The set of his shoulders was a little too tense to be confident. The way he clutched his teacup as if it were something precious, some kind of anchor keeping him rooted, spoke of stability that had deserted him. There may have been an ever-present hint of a smile plastered on his lips, but the pureblood's eyes held no humour or warmth in them. They were slightly glazed, and the fact that he would not meet anyone's eyes alarmed Zero, somewhere deep in the recesses of his mind. Something dark swirled in those orbs and everytime it seemed to become overpowering, Kaname would close his eyes, tightly but briefly, as if to dispel the darkness.

Zero knew this behaviour. He knew that subtly distressed posture and the disturbed look in those eyes. Kuran's body screamed of the way Zero himself felt whenever he allowed his darkest memories to take hold of him and replay themselves in his mind's eye. It was at those times that Zero was at his weakest, his most vulnerable, and at those times he inevitably sought out Yuuki. Her company alone could comfort him and banish the darkness from his heart.

Whatever Kuran was recalling, or struggling not to recall, Zero could not begin to fathom. Undoubtedly, it had something to do with Ichijou. Although he was curious, Zero knew he had no hope of finding out exactly what the issue was. What he was sure of, however, was that Kuran would not go running to Yuuki if he were in distress. In fact, that was the last thing he would do. His idiotic pride would not allow him to appear weak in front of the one he was supposed to protect, Zero knew that, but Zero also knew that that fact alone would hurt Kuran more than anything. Because other than Yuuki, the pureblood had no one.

The realisation struck Zero deep in his heart. He had never openly admitted that Kaname was anything more to him than a rival and hated vampire, but in truth, he had long ago started seeing Kuran Kaname as a comrade. Their relationship was one that he felt could easily become friendship, if either of them would bother to take that extra step.

And that extra step was what Zero took when he followed the pureblood out of the door, on his way back to the Moon Dorms.

'What are you doing, Kiryuu?'

'I'm coming with you,' came the nonchalant reply. 'You have a chessboard, right, Kuran? Let's play.'

Contemplative silence. Then, a sceptical, 'you want to play chess? With me?'

'Yeah.'

'Why?'

Zero gave the pureblood an exasperated look, but didn't say a word as they ambled towards the wooded path.

'The others won't be happy to see you, you know. Especially not with me.'

'Who cares? Besides, they'll have to get used to the fact that I'm going to be at the Moon Dorms with you everyday while they're gone.'

'What?'

'You heard me.'

They walked on in silence for the rest of the way, Zero stealing glances at Kaname's face out of the corner of his eye.

For the first time in a while, he saw that hint of a smile return to the pureblood's eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own _Vampire Knight_. I just play with the characters to suit my own twisted desires.**

**A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews and the favourites! This was actually intended to be just a one-shot but... you twisted my arm. :)**

Kaname shot Zero an elegantly-raised eyebrow as soon as he noticed the impish half-grin on the silver-haired boy's face.

'What?' He demanded.

Zero merely shook his head and turned his gaze back to the chessboard. The grin soon vanished as his thoughts took over.

'You did the same thing yesterday,' he finally offered, giving Kaname's eyes a moment to dart over the pieces and realise where he had gone wrong.

'Ah.'

'Checkmate. Again.'

Zero sighed and leaned back in his chair, his smug posture directly contradicting the searching look in his eyes. For Kuran, master of strategy, to lose not one, not two, but three games of chess to him, Zero, master of brash decisions, was rather disconcerting. The prefect studied the vague way Kuran was gazing at the board, as if trying, but failing, to clearly see how he had lost. Zero could see that Kaname was still not himself, and hadn't been so for a good few weeks. As the day of his ex-guardian's visit drew closer and closer, he had grown even more distracted, and frankly, it was no surprise that he had lost an insignificant game of chess. From what Zero could gather, such a thing probably paled in comparison to what went through his mind every time his pureblood companion thought of... whatever it was he had spent so much time tormenting himself over.

After a moment, the pureblood gently swept the board aside, and leaned back in his own chair.

'That's enough for today.'

Zero snorted. 'I should've known you damned purebloods were sore losers.' There was no venom behind his words, however, and they both let the empty accusation dissipate in the air, sharing a comfortable silence.

During the five days of their closer-than-usual acquaintance, the pair had found more potential in their friendship than they had previously imagined there could be. That first day, those first games of chess in the Moon Dorms, had been rather uncomfortable, to say the least. And that'd had everything to do with not Kaname or Zero's presence, but the imposing, stifling aura of the vehement nobles surrounding them. That first day, to Zero's chagrin, Kaname had allowed both Ruka and Aido to join them, resulting in a silent, glare-ridden bout of chess that felt more like a Mexican stand-off than anything else.

Why Kuran had asked the two nobles to stay, Zero couldn't say. Perhaps he hadn't fully trusted Zero then. Perhaps he was just being polite. Either way, the next time the prefect visited, Kaname had insisted that they play alone and without waiting to hear the protest from the nobles, had practically ordered Zero to his rooms and promptly shut the door. Obviously, he had seen the error in his earlier decision.

Since then, Zero had visited several times, and they had tentatively begun to make conversation that didn't involve threats or taunts or Yuuki. In fact, they had found that they could talk quite comfortably with each other. Zero had been surprised at how ordinary Kaname could be, when he wasn't surrounded by watching, waiting eyes. He had expected to have to put up with a spoiled prince, as demanding as he was cold, but he was quickly learning that Kuran was far from spoiled and more considerate than even his attitude towards Yuuki signified. Not that the pureblood had lowered his guard at all for Zero; on the contrary, he was still as elusive as ever if he wanted to be. But it was clear that in private, he had a quiet, down-to-earth air about him that contrasted so much with his aloof, public self that Zero had felt rather disorientated for the first few visits. Their huge difference in social status seemed to mean nothing to Kuran, which made the prefect wonder more than once exactly how he viewed himself. What was a pureblood, to this young man, if not a superior being to command respect and subservience?

Indeed, after considering all of these things that he had learned about Kaname, Zero had to wonder how much of it was affected by whatever had been bothering him for the past few weeks. To be honest, the more he learned, the less he knew. He hadn't known the real Kuran Kaname before their 'friendship' began. Nor did he know now. What he knew for sure, however, was that he wanted to find that person, the real Kuran Kaname.

And he wanted to find whatever it was that had made those cracks appear in his noble mask.

* * *

'Kuran.'

'Hm?'

'How long will Ichijou's grandfather be here?'

Kaname's hand froze in the middle of turning a page in his book. They had long abandoned chess for that day, and had been sitting in silence for a couple of hours, the pureblood reading and the hunter dozing before diligently polishing Bloody Rose, earning disapproving looks from his companion.

The winter holiday had officially begun that day as soon as classes had ended, and the exodus was in full swing. Zero, sitting by the window in Kaname's room, had watched as the Day Class students filtered out through the gates. In contrast to the bustle and chaos outside, the Moon Dorms were unnervingly silent. The Night Class had left the day before, and Kuran was now the only occupant.

Kaname tensed. 'Six days.'

'Why didn't Takuma stay to see him?'

'Perhaps he had other plans.' Kaname tried to appear casual, but the prefect suspected he wasn't being completely honest. Nothing new, there.

'What does he want, anyway, coming here?'

There. That look. The bewilderment that had sprung into Kuran's eyes for a split-second, that was what Zero had been aiming at. This was as close as he had come to uncovering the reason the pureblood was so damned - dare he think it? - afraid of Ichijou's arrival. That look of shocked helplessness spoke volumes that Kuran himself never would.

As if realising he was giving himself away, Kaname turned his eyes back to his book, blankly scanning the page. When he didn't reply, Zero decided to press further.

'I mean, you aren't on good terms, are you? I know that much. A surprise visit like this is kind of strange.'

'You may know that much, Kiryuu, but you don't really know anything.' Zero blinked at the iciness in his voice. 'You haven't even met the man before - how can you judge his actions? You, a mere student, a mere boy.'

Zero bristled. What the hell? He knew that this was as far as he could push Kaname, but... 'I'm not blind, Kuran. And I'm not stupid. Would it insult your pureblood sensibilities too much if I told you that you seem plain scared of him?'

A sharp crack suddenly pierced the air and both boys froze, eyes darting to the source of the noise. Running down the center of one of Kaname's windows was a jagged crack. Zero whipped his gaze back to the pureblood, suddenly feeling extremely on edge. He expected to be met by blazing red eyes, fangs, a suffocating aura, and then perhaps, death, but found  
nothing of the sort. Kaname was frowning at the mirror, as if blaming it for the crack his anger had caused. He seemed to be consciously calming himself down, replacing his mask, when he abruptly looked back at Zero almost apologetically.

This time, the silence was almost unbearable, and Zero found himself wanting to do anything - anything - just to break it. Even sing. When Kaname finally spoke, Zero's relief was palpable.

'Do I really seem that way? Scared?' The pureblood's voice was quiet, if a little shaky, and Zero allowed himself to relax a little.

'Well. Yeah, you do. A little.' There was an awkward moment when Kaname seemed unable to work out a reply. Before he could do so, the hunter added, 'I'm sorry for prying. It's none of my business.'

Even though, he added to himself, your reaction just now was far too much for so little, Kuran. There's no denying something's up now.

They each went back to their own devices, the atmosphere in the room not quite as easy as it had been not five minutes before.

But if one good thing had come of their little altercation, it was that the silver-haired vampire found that his resolve had hardened. When Ichijou arrived tomorrow, he would be there, beside Kaname.


	3. Chapter 3

Once again, thank you so much for the reviews! They've made me so happy!

Disclaimer: I don't own _Vampire Knight_ or it's characters.

The night air was stifling. A hot breeze blew in through the open window, feeling like sand against the damp skin of Kaname's bare back. Through a haze of sleep, he was aware of the billowing of white lace curtains, the moist silk against his cheek, the sweat-tipped strands of hair over his eyes. He absently listened to the sound of rain beginning to fall. The pregnant, round droplets of rain thudded to the ground, exuding that scent of warmth that seemed to comfort Kaname so.

He felt his half-lidded eyes begin to drift shut again, only to spring open once more when his mind finally picked up on something that was... wrong. What it was, he couldn't say. He let his drowsy gaze linger on the window, the curtains still rippling like sails. Through the lace design, he could see the blackness of the sky, and the whiteness of something falling. Not rain. He could no longer hear the rain, or smell it.

That sound, that steady, comforting thud, had been replaced by a rushing of air, quick and frantic and sending chills down the pureblood's spine. By now, Kaname knew he was dreaming, and entering a realm he did not want to go to, so he forced his sleepy body to roll over onto his back.

The moment he found himself on his back, Kaname's blood froze and he found himself unable to move again. He could still hear it, that rushing, that panting, and now he could even feel it, pressing against his exposed throat and face in waves. He turned his head to one side, trying to move his face away from that sensation that screamed corruption to him, but a hand grasped his chin and roughly yanked his face back.

As soon as the pureblood raised his arms to remove the vile hand, he found there was none there. But the panting had not ceased. It still pushed against his skin, dirty, desperate, lustful and Kaname's own breath sped up to match it. The hot, moist weight of a body pressed against his hips and chest and he suddenly couldn't breathe. _Help me_, he silently pleaded, to no one in particular. _Help me_. _Help me._ Hands, countless hands and fingers, roved over his body, violating, hurting, testing._ Help me. _A mouth marked sharp, wet trails over his torso, only to be joined by another, and another, and another. _Help me._ A voice whispered in his ear, '_no one will help you_.'

_Help me!_

The spell broke. Kaname's eyes shot open. The sound of heavy breathing that filled the room terrified him, until he realised they were his own gasps that he was hearing. He gave himself a moment to calm down, concentrating on the sweat that trickled down his jaw, to the back of his neck. The lace curtains were still, the window closed tight. Outside, the dusk light illuminated snow that fell lightly and silently.

Kaname did not spare any time thinking about what had just happened. He had tried his best to forget, and only his dreams betrayed him. Only in his dreams did he fail and become weak again. It didn't bear thinking about.

Silently, he rose from his bed and showered. He made sure the water was cold, and the spray fine. Nothing like summer rain. If he noticed his hands trembling unusually as he washed his hair, he tried to think nothing of it.

When he was ready, he made his way through the empty moon dorms, and halted in his tracks when he found Zero lounging on a sofa in the entrance hall. He hid his surprise and went to join him.

'You're up early.' Kaname felt a confusing jolt of relief at hearing the familiar, nonchalant voice. He suddenly felt able to shake off the cloud that had settled over him since waking.

'I have a lot to do.'

'So when's the all-important guest arriving?'

'...in three hours.' A sliver of annoyance worked itself into the pureblood's tone. He was far from dim, and Kiryuu was far from subtle. He could see that despite all of the hunter's seemingly-good intentions, Kiryuu was using their every opportunity together to test him, to see how far he could push him. Kaname knew very well that Kiryuu had noticed his tense reactions whenever Ichiou was mentioned. It wasn't like Kaname could hide them. No, not when it came to this. And then, to so frequently and loftily bring the wretched man up in conversation...? Kiryuu was pushing him. Really, really pushing him far.

Kaname's lips set in a grim line. Then something occurred to him.

'What are you doing here, Kiryuu? Since when have you had permission to just wander in, especially when the place is almost completely unoccupied?'

'I was waiting for you,' came the unaffected reply. 'The chairman thought you might need a hand.'

Kaname's eyes softened a fraction. 'Well, there's nothing you could do. What I need to do today mostly involves paperwork. And phonecalls.'

'Oh.' Zero seemed nonplussed. A small frown played at his brow as he thought silently for a moment. 'So... is this visit going to be a business trip, of sorts?'

There was a moment of tense silence, until Kaname finally let out a loud, frustrated breath. He was close to snapping. Couldn't Kiryuu see that he just absolutely didn't want to be reminded of that man? He didn't even want to think about - let alone talk about - the impending visit and the week of hell it would bring, not even when he had only three hours - no, make that two hours and three quarters - until that time arrived.

'Yes, Kiryuu. It is a business trip, _of sorts_.' Kaname ignored the raised eyebrow directed at his clipped tone. Zero never failed to frustrate him, even now that they had developed this odd camaraderie, but a small, not-so-hidden part of him really appreciated that this silver-haired boy would never cower before any of the pureblood's displays of irritation or anger. Having someone respond with immediate remorse and abasement to even his slightest displeasure was.... rather lonely.

'I'll give you one piece of advice, Kiryuu. Stop asking questions. I'm sure it hasn't escaped your notice that this is a sensitive subject, for a number of reasons. Don't ask any more questions.' A disturbing thought popped into Kaname's head at that moment. '_Especially_ not once he has arrived,' he added coolly.

Zero watched Kaname for a long moment after that, his gaze intent and never leaving Kaname's eyes. Kaname, on the other hand, suddenly could not meet that direct gaze, and turned his sight to the leather sofa that Zero was seated on.

A murmured response startled Kaname into raising his eyes to Zero's once more, and the look in them somehow relaxed the pureblood. 'I understand.'

The pair spent the next couple of hours together mostly in silence, while Kaname prepared his paperwork and made one or two long phonecalls that sounded extremely dull to Zero.

**

Not enough time seemed to have passed before Kaname realised that Ichiou would soon be here. His hand began to shake ever so slightly as it held a sheet of paper and he glared at it. _Why am I still afraid? I am no longer a child. There is nothing he can do to me now._ Even as he thought it to himself, Kaname knew it was a lie. As much as he may have tried to convince himself otherwise over the past few weeks, he knew that there was a lot that Ichiou could do to him now. He had far more to lose now than he ever had back then. Whether he was a vulnerable child or powerful, young man would make no difference.

'Zero, you should leave. Ichiou will be here shortly.'

'It's fine, Kuran. I'll stay.'

'That wasn't a suggestion, Zero. I'd like you to leave the Moon Dorms.'

Zero visibly tensed at that. He turned angry eyes on Kaname. 'Are you trying to give me an order, Kuran?'

'Yes. Please leave.' Kaname's voice may have been cold, but his eyes held far too little resolve for Zero to agree with.

'No way. I'm staying here.' Seeing that this would only lead to a senseless argument, Zero suddenly changed tactics, despite his anger at being ordered around. 'The chairman's given me permission to greet your guest with you, anyway. I'm a representative of the Day Class, after all.'

Kaname made a noise that was almost a snort. 'You, a representative?'

'I'm a prefect, aren't I?'

'Zero, having you here would not be safe. What would my...' Kaname faltered for a moment, '...guest... think if he were to catch sight of _that_?'

Both pairs of eyes moved downwards, to the weight inside Zero's jacket, then back to each other.

'He would think I'm your bodyguard.' There was a sudden resolve in Zero's voice that broke something inside Kaname. _Zero... even with the Bloody Rose, you can't protect me._

'Even so...' Kaname trailed off. He suddenly felt weak. He suddenly felt tired. He suddenly felt like he wanted to sleep, and never wake up. He suddenly wanted Zero to protect him, even though he knew he couldn't, and his very presence here would be dangerous for both of them.

And so, for once, he gave into his sudden urges and nodded his head. 'Very well, Zero. You may stay.'

'Don't say that as if you're _allowing_ me to stay, Kuran,' Zero shot back at him. 'I'm staying because I want to be here.' The tone of Zero's voice may have been harsh, but the warmth and resolution in his eyes comforted Kaname to no end.

_Thank you, Zero_.

**

Three in the morning found Zero and Kaname back on that sofa in the front hall of the Moon Dorms. This time, however, they had company.

Ichijou Asato was an imposing vampire with eyes that seemed to permanently glower. Or calculate. Zero could not quite work out which. He didn't like the man, that was for sure, and he didn't like the way Kaname responded to him.

From the moment the old vampire had stepped out of his limousine, Kaname had seemed to just... switch off. He had become blank, cold and emotionless, and it disturbed Zero to see such a change after their comfortable days together. Zero had even been expecting something extreme to happen during the first meeting between the noble and the pureblood after so long. He had expected some kind of emotion from Kaname, at least, but there had been nothing. Simply a coldly formal - and rather menacing, on Ichijou's part - exchange of greetings and then the pair had gotten straight to business, talking over the papers for the vampire council that Kaname had had ready for his former guardian to peruse. A mere moment had been spared for Zero's introduction, and the old man had simply looked him up and down - his eyes stopping with an amused glint on the shape of the Bloody Rose - and rather mockingly returned his greeting, before proceeding to completely ignore him.

Only once had he addressed Zero, or rather, the _subject_ of Zero, when he had asked Kaname, 'is it appropriate for Kiryuu-san to be here whilst we discuss council matters, Kaname-sama?'

Kaname, to Zero's chagrin, had pondered this for a moment, but finally replied smoothly, 'they are council matters, but ones that concern this academy. I would like Kiryuu-san to be present, as the academy's day representative.' Ichijou had obligingly agreed.

Yes, Zero could definitely see what the pureblood disliked about this man. But what he couldn't see was what had seemed to strike such unease into Kaname's heart before now. Had those weeks of odd behaviour really been because of this visit? Had Zero just been analysing too much? Now that he saw the distant, composed way the two behaved around each other, Zero was beginning to think that he had. Kuran was certainly a master of disguise, when it came to emotions, but this was far too devoid of feeling for the hunter to imagine anything extreme occurring in their past.

He began to feel irritated. Very irritated. And not just by the blatant disregard the old noble was paying him. Even Kaname was practically ignoring him. They were busy, that was understandable, but really, Zero was beginning to feel very useless and frankly, stupid, for even being here. And he was tired.

And so, when Ichijou and Kuran finally raised their heads and acknowledged Zero, the hunter didn't waste a moment.

'If I'm not needed any longer' - he didn't bother to hide the sarcasm in his tone - 'then I'll be leaving.'

He rose, missing Kaname's lingering stare.

'It was a pleasure to meet you, Ichijou-san.' Zero made sure to drain all enthusiasm from his tone. 'Good night.'

He strode to the door, only stopping when he heard Kaname's voice.

'Zero...'

Zero turned to him. He frowned when he saw sudden conflict on the face that had been so blank for this whole time. And then the conflict faded, to be replaced with a polite smile.

'Good night.' Zero nodded and reached for the door once more. 'And thank you...'

As he closed the heavy door behind him and stepped into the night, Zero wondered exactly what the pureblood had thanked him for.

**

Kaname's eyes lingered on the door as it closed with a final-sounding thud. He almost - almost - flinched when he heard the deep voice beside him.

'"Zero"?' It repeated. 'You are on rather good terms with that hunter after all, now aren't you, Kaname?' Kaname didn't reply. 'Rather unbecoming for a pureblood, I would say.' A whisper. 'Is that the way I raised you?'

Kaname's eyes shot to the man beside him, filled with anger, but when he saw the mocking smirk on the older vampire's face, his anger melted. For the first time that night, he allowed some of his mask to fall. Or rather, now that Zero was gone, he could no longer hold it up. He didn't have the strength. He turned his eyes away from Ichijou, moving his body as far away from the other man as possible.

'You must be tired, Ichijou-san. Especially after your trip. I'll leave you to rest.'

A hand shot out to grasp Kaname's wrist as he made to rise. That contact alone brought panic racing to the forefront of the pureblood's mind and he ripped his hand out of the strong grip, whirling to face the man.

'You're right, I am tired.' The smirk had become even wider, crueller, and Kaname wanted to rip it off with his claws. And then cower in a corner. 'If you would be so kind, Kaname-sama, as to show me to my room...?'

The younger vampire visibly struggled with himself for a long moment. And then, through gritted teeth, he obliged.

'Certainly. Follow me.'

A/N: People are dense, aren't they, when it comes to reading each other? Vampires are no exception. Silly vampires. Hope you enjoyed!


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: I'm so, so, so, sooooo sorry about how long it took to get this updated!! Not only have I had little time to write, but I had a problem accessing this account, only to realise that I was just being an idiot... D'oh!

But enough excuses from me. Again, my apologies! And thank you very, very much for your reviews and messages!

Disclaimer: I don't own _Vampire Knight_. I just play with the characters to suit my own twisted desires.

Zero blew vacantly at the steam rolling from his cup of coffee. His eyes followed its swirling path through the air, and when that got boring, he focused on watching Yuuki's distorted image through the screen of vapour. Yuuki was curled up on the floor across the room from him, looking just as bored as he felt. She was lazily leafing through some magazine, but the drooping of her eyelids told Zero that she probably wasn't actually reading it.

Winter holidays at Cross Academy were always a wonderful affair at first; after all, with no class, no prefect duties and thus, no screaming hordes of girls, how could he complain? It was only when the routine of doing, well, absolutely nothing, fully set in that boredom would show its apathetic, indifferent face and refuse to move from its comfy spot by the TV. Not even the occasional trips into town with Yuuki could quite satisfy Zero.

Apparently, Yuuki had reached this state of lethargy long before he had. After all, he had spent a great deal of his time at the beginning of the holiday with Kuran in the Moon Dorms, and even in the midst of hour-long silences, he had not once been touched by boredom. For the past few days, however, he hadn't had a chance to see the pureblood. Or rather, the pureblood had not had a chance to see him. Since the evening of Ichijou's arrival, Zero had not stepped foot into the Moon Dorms. He had tried, though.

The following evening, he had returned with the hopes of speaking to Kaname and making sure that he really was all right. After all, Zero had left rather abruptly and not in the best of moods. An entire night of being ignored by two over-pampered vampires in business mode had left the hunter irritated, upset and insanely bored. All of the concern he had previously felt for Kuran had been so easy to discard when he was in that mood, and especially when he was in that mood and seeing how utterly unaffected his pureblood companion seemed.

A brisk walk back to the Sun Dorms, a short sleep and a cup of steaming coffee later, however, had cleared Zero's head and invited all of those concerns back in. Accompanied by uncertainty, an uninvited guest. Zero would never claim that he was the most perceptive person in the world. He was most comfortable with openness, with people who could express their thoughts and emotions freely. Yuuki was that kind of person, and so was the Chairman, to some extent. He was not comfortable with having to dissect one's every expression, every lack of expression, every utterance. To find that he enjoyed the company of a person who could be as open as Yuuki at times and then become a sealed crypt of secrets at others was rather bewildering for him.

At first, Zero had found Kaname's mystery challenging. He had delighted in seeing the cracks. He had even pushed Kuran further than was kind, just so he could see them. Thinking about it now, the hunter realised that he had been cruel. Even caring on some level for Kaname, going so far as to enjoy his company and think of their relationship as friendship, he had thought nothing of hurting the pureblood, just so he could work out what was bothering him. At the time, Zero had thought that it was _because_ he cared for the other vampire that he pushed to find the cause of those dents, but now he suspected that it was simply his own callous curiosity. A fascination. If he had really felt so worried about Kaname, then perhaps he would not have allowed his mood to so easily drive away all of his gathered resolve to stay by the pureblood's side. It was as if he had actually hoped for something terrible to happen, and when it hadn't and the holes in Kaname's armour had suddenly filled, he had gotten bored and gone home. In fact, thinking about it now, it was this sudden hardening of the mask that should have had Zero worried.

And so, struck by guilt and renewed concern, the hunter had trudged his way to the Moon Dorms the next evening, only to be greeted by the sight of Kaname sliding gracefully into the back seat of a limousine.

Zero had called out to him before he could shut the door, and after a strangely long pause, the pureblood had stepped out again and faced him expectantly.

'Do you need something, Kiryuu-kun?'

_Kiryuu-kun_? Zero had shaken his head as he jogged the rest of the way to the pureblood. 'Not really,' he had puffed. 'I was just making sure you -' _are all right _'- didn't need anything.'

'Need anything?' Kaname had repeated. His dull tone had made Zero look more closely at him, noting the usual perfection of his appearance, and also the absence of any kind of tilt to his lips and the rather glazed look of his eyes. If anything, Kaname looked the pureblood version of tired.

Zero had shaken his head again, dismissing what he had just said. 'Where are you going?'

'Not far. It's a business trip.'

'Oh. I see.'

'Goodbye, then.' Abruptly, Kuran had returned to the confines of the limo, his movements not quite as graceful as they had seemed from a distance but rather, sluggish and reluctant.

Zero had watched as the car had driven off, feeling the chill left not by the cold but by Kuran's tone. And for some reason he didn't want to comprehend, the pureblood had given him a strange, accusing look as he had said goodbye.

This memory completely occupied Zero's thoughts as he continued to stare at Yuuki through the steam of his coffee. He was brought back to the present by her gently reprimanding voice.

'Is there something on my face, Zero?'

'There might be,' he replied smoothly. 'You were drooling a minute ago.'

He smirked as she brought a hand to her face in alarm and finding nothing, launched her magazine at him.

'What are you reading this rubbish for, anyway? Missing the pretty boys now that the night class is gone, eh?'

'Oh, whatever. Speaking of pretty b - I mean, the night class... where has Kaname gone? He hasn't come around for a while and when I went to the Moon Dorms yesterday, the gatekeeper said that no one was in.'

'How would I know?'

Yuuki gave him a sceptical look. 'Zero. This holiday you've spent more time with him than you have with me. And we live together. And I've been polite enough not to ask disturbing questions about it. How could you not know?'

Zero had to smile at that. It was true, he had seen more of Kaname than Yuuki. 'He's on a business trip.'

'A business trip? But didn't Takuma-senpai's grandfather come to visit?'

'I guess they went together.' The hunter suddenly remembered how tired Kaname had looked the last time he had seen him. Not for the first time in the past few days, he felt a surge of impatience. _Come back soon, Kaname. Give me a second chance to protect you_.

***

The atmosphere in the limousine had grown more and more tense as they approached the academy. Kaname could almost _see_ the air, solidly trembling, waiting to shatter. The two days away had actually been relaxing for him; he had been able to avoid being alone with Ichijou the whole time, bar the car journey. Even now, there was a driver on the other side of that thin screen, and so Kaname could feel at least a little bit secure. A _very_ little bit. That very little bit of security was, however, fast draining away.

He sat up straight with his hands clasped in his lap. He knew he was the very picture of discomfort. He had begun the journey casually leaning his elbow on the door, chin resting in his hand, but the stifling _other_ presence in the vehicle had quickly dispersed any illusion of ease on his part. Practically alone again with Ichijou, Kaname could not dispel his growing apprehension. For the next three days, this was the safest Kaname was going to be able to feel. Once the driver was gone and they were back in the echoingly empty Moon Dorms, Kaname would be plunged into a nightmare that would destroy him all over again. No one would be there to help him, not Yuuki, not the Chairman. Not Zero. Tightness gripped his chest. _Even if Zero could, he would not_.

'What are you thinking about?'

Kaname glanced over at the figure across from him. 'Why do you ask?' He tried to keep his voice sounding confident, but he knew he was failing and he knew that the older vampire could tell.

A flash of teeth. 'Oh, it's just that you look so... how do I put it? Out of sorts. Uneasy.'

Kaname had no reply. He just looked away. He hated those eyes.

'Do I make you uneasy, Kaname?'

The pureblood felt the air shift, and he turned his face to the window, pretending to watch the snowy trees rush past.

'Answer me.'

Kaname jerked, _feeling_ the words at his ear more than hearing them. The hot puff of air made him feel sick, as did his own reaction. He didn't dare look at Ichijou, but continued to stare outside, seeing nothing.

'Kaname.' The voice was now tinged with warning. The young pureblood waited, unmoving. He was surprised when he felt the presence withdraw and move out of his personal space.

'Kaname. You are a fine specimen of a pureblood.' The words puzzled the younger vampire and he turned his eyes to the speaker. 'Before the council, before your peers, before all of the vermin that dream of consuming you, you are marvellously composed. You are gracious, and self-assured. You are _regal_.'

Another smirk marred the commendation of the words and Ichijou's intent eyes sparkled with hidden delight. 'But before _me_, you are none of those things. Looking at you now, I don't see a regal prince of vampires. I see what you are beneath. I see what you _truly_ are.'

Kaname took a careful breath. Anger and fear mixed in his veins and made him shake. 'And what am I? _Truly_?'

The harsh rush of air that could only vaguely be mistaken for a laugh made Kaname's blood boil even more and with a conscious effort, he raised his chin and awaited the answer.

'You are a weak child, who trembles when I do this.' Before Kaname could pull back, Ichijou had clasped his chin in an iron grasp, and forced his head up so that the pureblood's neck was exposed. But he didn't even touch the pale, vulnerable skin. Instead, he trailed a cold finger over Kaname's face, making sure to savour the soft contours of the younger vampire's lips.

When that finger suddenly jabbed its way into the pureblood's mouth, Kaname jolted back into life and clutched the old vampire's wrist. He ripped it away with more strength than was safe and shoved his former guardian backwards.

Ichijou was having none of this. Immediately, he recovered and launched himself at Kaname.

'You may be a pureblood,' he snarled, his hands grabbing at Kaname's throat. 'But do not forget who I am, and what I know, and what I can do to you, and those around you.' His words shot out in a threatening rush, preventing Kaname from using his pureblood powers in defence before it was too late.

Kaname forced himself to back down, arms going limp, his suffocating aura fading, and allowed Ichijou's hands to remain curled painfully around his throat. Tears sprang into his eyes. Ichijou smiled kindly, his eyes cruel. 'I don't need to be alive, my dear Kaname, for terrible things to happen to you. Or rather, to those you deem to be important. I would even go so far as to say, "those you love", if it were not such a pathetic concept for a pureblood such as yourself. I do, however, need to be alive to _prevent_ those terrible things from happening.'

He chuckled at the single tear that escaped and trailed forlornly down to his hand. 'How does it feel, knowing that it is this disgusting sentimentality that allows me to do this to you?'

Another chuckle rattled from the old throat as Kaname's eyes burned in hatred and frustration. There was a long moment of stillness before the younger vampire seemed to calm, and the unkind hands withdrew from their grasp. Each of them settled wordlessly back into their previous positions across from each other, as if nothing untoward had happened.

Kaname cursed his own silence. There were so many ways he could have responded to the old vampire's threats. He could have made a few threats himself. He could have scoffed at Ichijou's conviction that there were so-called loved ones in his life. He could have bluffed his way into a stalemate. Anything to abort this perverse hierarchy that was unravelling between them. But he had betrayed himself with his inability to respond with strength. Ichijou really had him conditioned.

As the car sailed down the long road towards Cross Academy, Kaname found himself, for the first time in a long time, afraid to close his eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Yay! A quick update, for once! Please enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own _Vampire Knight _or its characters. I think I can live with that.

If it hadn't been for Zero's vampire senses, he would never have heard the distant sound of tyres crushing snow or the soft rumble of an engine that told him a car was entering the academy gates. As it was, he had heard them, and was now crunching up the path to the Moon Dorms. He had been right in assuming it was Kaname returning; he could see the limo parked up ahead, two figures stepping out of it. He saw the pureblood give the driver a polite nod and then follow his companion into the building.

About half a minute later, just as Zero was ascending the few steps to the main door, it opened again and the hunter was somewhat surprised to see Kaname step back out. He closed the door behind him with a bit more force than necessary, and swept past Zero with a brief glance that told the silver-haired vampire to follow.

A few moments later, and they were out of sight of the Moon Dorms and sitting beside each other on a snow-covered bench. Kaname was the first to break the silence.

'Sorry. The limo was far too stifling for me. I just had to get some fresh air.' he said, his voice strangely flat.

'Air that couldn't be gotten within earshot of the old vamp?' The hunter cast Kaname a smug look, thinking he'd hit the nail on the head. He was ignored. Zero let it go, momentarily. 'Whatever. Good trip?'

'Very good, actually.'

'Really? Doesn't sound like it,' Zero commented drily, alluding to the absolute lack of feeling in the pureblood's tone.

At that, Kaname gave him an unreadable look. 'Believe me, Zero, it was preferable to being here.'

There was a moment of awkward silence as the hunter processed this. Was Kaname trying to tell him something? This was exactly the kind of situation he was useless in. Finally, he settled for being direct.

'Are you okay, Kaname? Did something happen?'

'Nothing has happened, really, Zero. I just don't enjoy being in that man's presence. You know that.'

Kaname was an excellent liar. He had to be an excellent liar to survive as a pureblood. Zero knew that. And yet, he still couldn't decide whether or not to believe him. There was something a bit too indignant in the pureblood's words, something forced.

'You know, if you need anything, you can ask me. It's not like I have anything better to do these days.'

'What about keeping Yuuki company?'

Diverting the conversation, now was he? Zero gave a snort. 'She'll live without me.'

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kaname nod absently, as if in half-hearted agreement. And then, '...so will I.'

Hearing the quietly spoken words jolted Zero unexpectedly. His eyes darted to his companion's face, but found the mask back in place, with reinforcements. He could only stare, almost wanting to gape, ignoring the wrench of pain in his chest that had accompanied the utterance.

'Thank you for your company, Kiryuu-kun.' The pureblood stood gracefully, brushing snow from his trousers, brushing any questions Zero may have to the ground. 'It was good to get outside after that long journey. I should return now.'

Zero, bemused, watched him disappear. 'What...?' He blinked. 'What the hell...?'

* * *

Kaname's mind was a mess. He knew he had completely turned around on Zero. He knew he wasn't exactly mentally stable these days. On second thoughts, he probably never had been.

When Zero had once again suggested that he would like to help Kaname, something in the pureblood had flashed in anger. _You weren't much help last time you expressed such sentiments, were you_? that something wanted to growl, all the while knowing that none of what had happened and was happening was Zero's fault, nor was he even remotely capable of helping him.

Zero couldn't have known that when he had left him alone with Ichiou that first night, Kaname had watched him go with a fear in his heart that he could never show. Zero couldn't have known that his mask of strength and indifference had only been up because the hunter's presence had given Kaname the courage to keep it there. Zero couldn't have known that the man, the wretched monster of a man that he was leaving the pureblood alone with had done unspeakable things to that pureblood in the past. The hunter couldn't have known that Kaname's innocence had long been lost to that despicable man.

He couldn't have known that minutes after he had left the Moon Dorms, Kaname had once again been subjected to a nightmare that he had long abandoned to humid summer nights in a place and time far away from here.

Kaname had, with much trepidation and a sinking sense of hope, shown his former guardian to his room. The rest of the memory he let loose to the jumble of traumas and shadows in the recesses of his mind. There was the smell of damp, bare skin; a bony weight; a shuddering breath; he would not allow himself to recall it in much more detail, but there was one detail that the young vampire could not get out of his mind. Ichijou had laid his hands on him, yes, but he had not done what Kaname had dreaded the most. He had not gone as far as the pureblood had feared he would. Bafflingly, this disturbed him more than anything else. It set him on edge, put his mind in a state of perpetual skittishness that he couldn't break out of.

He glanced at the clock. He had not seen Ichiou since he had returned from his brief talk with Kiryuu hours ago, but he had been able to feel the old vampire's presence the whole time, never too far from him. It was now about time for them to retire, but Kaname could not relax enough to do more than sit stiffly in the swivel chair at his desk, nervously fiddling with a book in his hands. If someone had asked him what he was reading, he would have been at a loss. Zero had often asked him that during their idle days here in these quarters, and had more often than not raised an eyebrow at the reply.

_Zero_. The pureblood allowed his eyes to wander to the window. The view of the Sun Dorms and the chairman's quarters were obscured by trees, but Kaname found himself staring in that direction anyway. He felt guilty about brushing the hunter off so coldly. He wasn't sure exactly why he had done it, especially when all of his heart was screaming at him to run away to the chairman's house and bask in the company of those warm people. He couldn't help but feel anger and frustration and longing at the thought of the silver-haired vampire. He wanted so much for the hunter to help him get through this, even though he was even more powerless than Kaname himself. It was selfish of him to even be thinking this. He hoped it was the unselfish part of him that had turned Zero away and not the petulant, childish part of him that silently blamed him for what had happened – almost happened – those few nights ago.

There was a distinct _click_. Kaname did not stir or glance away from the window. He had expected the door to open, had felt Ichijou's approach many moments before he had arrived.

'Expecting me, were you?'

Kaname let his gaze linger on the window before pulling his eyes away to look at Ichijou, as if the act pained him. He said nothing.

The old vampire watched him appraisingly from his position by the door. He made no move to enter further into the room, nor to sit down. He merely watched, and his scrutiny made Kaname want to burrow into his chair. He wondered where all of his pureblood strength was, that his spirit could so frailly wither under the gaze of a noble.

Finally, the man moved, cat-like, stealing to the chair on the other side of Kaname's desk. He faced his former ward and folded his hands neatly on his lap.

'Is there something you want?' Kaname finally broke the silence.

'Something I want? Of course there is, my dear boy.'

More silence. More scrutiny.

Kaname's patience was wearing thin, almost drawing level with his unease. 'Care to enlighten me?' He growled.

One of those sickening, toothy smiles stretched Ichijou's lips. 'Just let me be, Kaname. What I want will come to me in time.'

The meaning behind those words sickened Kaname, and a surge of anger made him stand abruptly and go to the door. 'I wish to sleep now, Ichijou-san. It's been a long day, and I'm tired. Please leave.' He didn't bother to cloak the irritation in his voice, using it to cover the fear.

'Now, now, my dear boy,' came a condescending chuckle. 'Come sit back down. I will leave shortly.'

The young pureblood stubbornly stayed where he was for a moment, but then reluctantly returned to his seat, his movements stiff and oozing vexation. Before he could sit down, however, Ichijou's voice halted him.

'On second thoughts, remain standing. Please.' He looked Kaname over with predatory eyes. He sighed blissfully. 'I can feel your trembling from here. It is most delectable.' The young man gave a derisive huff and turned his head away, but remained standing where he was. 'Am I making you uncomfortable again, Kaname? Surely, after how intimate we have been over the years, you should be quite relaxed in my presence.'

At that, Kaname shot him a glare brimming with hatred, but he still did not move. He wanted the vampire to leave as soon as possible, and he would comply if it meant that he would do so. He just prayed that he would not be forced to comply with much more than this. The very anticipation was making it difficult for him to breathe.

'I saw you with that hunter boy today. The day class representative, is it? The day class seems to have quite a lot of business with you, Kaname. At least, judging by the number of times I have seen him sniffing around.'

Kaname suppressed a dangerous spike of his aura. Ichijou fingered the book that the pureblood had been holding before his arrival. 'Tell me, does he have an interest in you that is... more than professional?' He leaned back. 'More than merely companionable?' When he was met with defiant silence, he continued. 'As your former guardian, Kaname, I still have some responsibility for you. It would not do to have rumours of a hunter – an _ex-human_ hunter, no less – fraternising with a pureblood. A Kuran. Do you realise what such talk would lead to?'

Kaname bit back a snarl and forced his tone into something more civil. 'That is enough, Ichijou-san. Please leave.'

'No, it is not enough, Kaname. I am concerned for you, can you not see that?'

'There is no need for concern, and I have no need for _yours_.' Kaname checked his rising voice. He stilled his features as well as he could. 'There is nothing to talk about, so please leave now.'

'My, how defensive you get over the mention of young Zero-kun. Intriguing.' Ichijou paused, gazing over at a silently seething Kaname for a few moments before continuing. 'Take off your clothes.'

There was stunned silence. '..._W__hat_?'

'Take. Off. Your. Clothes.'

For a frightening moment, Kaname's mind went blank. He couldn't think, couldn't move, couldn't speak. Then rage filled him. 'How dare you?! I am a pureblood! Have you forgotten?!' His anger filled the room, thick and heavy. 'I have put up with a lot from you, Ichijou, but it is time you remembered your place! This... this...'

Ichijou laughed, he actually _laughed_. Kaname, stunned, trailed off and regarded the hated figure with blazing eyes. Even his aura shook, as if unsure of what to do. 'Why are you so shocked, Kaname? I have seen you naked before. I have even undressed you. This is a simple request, asked only out of my concern for you.'

'Get the _fuck_ out of my quarters, NOW.' The tremble in the pureblood's voice was slight, but present.

'No,' came the firm reply. 'I have a suspicion, and I wish to check it. Or do you want for me to go back to the council with what little I know?'

'I have no idea what you're even implying!' Kaname admitted, desperation in his voice. 'We both know that nothing can be proven by seeing my naked body!'

'I want to know if he has _touched_ you. The ex-human.' Calm. Ichijou was so calm and focussed in the face of Kaname's wildly spiralling fury. Fury that was rapidly cooling to despair. Kaname knew that there was nothing to back Ichijou's words. He was a pureblood and could by rights do whatever the hell he wanted, be it feed or fuck an ex-human or be fucked by his guardian, and there was no way marks of any of the aforementioned activities would be left on his fast-healing pureblood body. This was all a sick word game for Ichijou, one in which he would simultaneously behave like an animal and speak like a gentleman. What hurt Kaname the most was that he knew he wouldn't win. He never did. However baseless or senseless Ichijou's argument was, he still held more power over the pureblood. It was a fact of life for Kaname.

It was this fact that made the young vampire suddenly still and direct another glare at his former guardian, although this one lacked any real fire. _Just get it over with. There is no way out of this. I'm too tired to fight any longer._ Resignation shadowed his face as he pulled his shirt over his head, revealing a smoothly toned body, the skin pale and luminescent.

'There,' he murmured. His anger had dissipated, and left him feeling helpless, but this was not a feeling he was stranger to. 'Are you satisfied?'

'Not nearly enough, Kaname. Take everything off.'

So Kaname did as asked. He found his mind wandering as he mechanically undid his belt, pulled his trousers off, followed them with his underwear. He eyes no longer met Ichijou's, but turned off to the side in something between shame and surrender. His face was as expressionless as ever. He wondered why merely having no clothes on could make people feel so vulnerable. He wondered how freeing it must be to live in a world where no one had such covers, nothing to hide.

He was pulled away from his thoughts by an icy hand on his shoulder. His head snapped around to face the old vampire, and a gasp escaped him. Ichijou's hand firmly stopped him from pulling away. _A pureblood vampire. I am a pureblood vampire. And I can't stop him_. No wonder the old man had laughed at his earlier words.

The hand trailed down his shoulder, over his chest, brushing a nipple on its slow path down. The owner moved his body closer to the naked boy, letting him feel his breath on the skin of his neck. 'You are beautiful, Kaname,' he whispered, and smirked at the shudder that ran through the young flesh at his fingertips.

The hand caressed its way over Kaname's stomach, savouring the contours of his muscles, and then rubbed against his hip. Kaname's stomach lurched, and he closed his eyes. He realised he had been biting his lip, and stopped. When the hand reached behind him, Kaname's eyes flew open but he said nothing. There was so much he wanted to say, or scream, that if he tried to say it, the flood would kill him.

Finally, after what seemed an eternity, the hand stopped its wandering and pulled away. _Now it begins_, thought Kaname numbly. But nothing began. Ichijou gave him one last searching look, and then turned to the door.

Kaname looked on in confusion. Something filled him, something that made him shake inside and want to scream his lungs out. It was probably his sanity being ripped away, shred by shred. Utter humiliation and suppressed emotion made his voice hoarse as he ground out his demand.

'If you're going to do something, then do it, damn it! Take it! Take my blood, take my body, whatever it is you want. There's nothing you haven't taken before. Why leave it like this? Get it over with! I'm tired of waiting, of playing your sick games.'

'Oh, Kaname. Would it cause you more, or less pain, if I actually did to you what I dream of doing every single night?'

With that, Ichijou slipped out of the door, leaving his victim to stare after him with wide eyes. It took a few minutes for Kaname to finally let his body tremble as it had been crying to do. His knees buckled and he collapsed to the floor in a pile amongst his clothes, knees and elbows pressing against the cold tiles as he lowered his head and wept bitter tears.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Me again. I hope you're enjoying the story so far! This chapter was written by a very out-of-it me, so I'm a bit worried that things don't quite make sense and that I ended up babbling (or having the characters babble) for most of it. Buuut, I'm hoping that if that is the case, it just helps to add to poor Kaname's horribly wrecked state of mind! He _is_ in a bit of a mess, by now.

Anyway, enjoy! :)

Disclaimer: I don't own _Vampire Knight. _If I did, I'd probably make a mess of it, anyway...

6

A glass clinked loudly in the uncomfortable silence. A fork scraped across a plate and halted abruptly as if embarrassed to have made a sound. The delicate clearing of a young, female throat pushed gently through the silence and Zero took a breath.

Silence was a very powerful and fickle thing, he realised with irritation. It could soothe you, it could drive you insane, or it could suffocate you. All depending on such tiny things as the set of your companion's shoulders, the absent way they lifted their glass to their lips, or the fact that their eyes somehow kept avoiding yours.

Try as he might, Zero could not reach Kaname, although the pureblood was sitting directly across from him. He wanted to smile at the dark-haired boy, to nod in his direction, to communicate _something_, but Kaname was making it very difficult for Zero to do so by failing to even look at him.

The hunter had known from the moment they sat down that this would be a difficult dinner. Not only had Kaname, a mere day ago, done a somewhat confusing Jekyll and Hyde on Zero, he had made sure to ignore the hunter as soon as he had stepped through the door.

No, that wasn't right. Kaname wasn't ignoring him. After all, he had quite readily offered up an agreeable 'good afternoon, Kiryuu-kun', and had asked him how he was doing. But his tone had been so bare. His eyes had looked right through him. And the _Kiryuu-kun_, it had actually hurt, and still did, every time he said it. No, Zero wasn't what was being ignored. It was their relationship, that tentatively blossoming friendship between the two, that was being ignored by the pureblood and forced into the shadows.

The thought stung Zero, but it also angered him. He knew Kaname had issues. He knew something was wrong. But the young hunter was, by nature, impatient and straightforward, and he was tired of thinking about such intangible things. He was tired of being worried about the pureblood and not knowing how to help.

And so, Zero was currently on a personal quest to catch the pureblood's eye. He would catch it, and remind the other boy that he was _here_. He was always here.

It didn't help that to the pureblood's left, sat his guest, Ichijou Asato.

Zero had found the older vampire eyeing him knowingly at several points throughout the meal, but he had said nothing. Zero ground his teeth. He would never admit it out loud, but he was frightened of the noble, frightened of someone who could so easily put a seemingly-unshakeable pureblood on edge.

'Would you pass me the salad, please, Zero?'

Zero reached out and did so, smirking slightly over Yuuki's rare attempt at politeness. Normally, she would just stick her hand out and get the salad bowl herself, regardless of whether or not her arm would end up in Zero's face. Right now, however, they were in what she considered to be polite company, namely that of her beloved Kaname-senpai and some old vampire aristocrat. Zero glanced over at Kaname to see if the young pureblood shared his amusement, as he usually would, but nothing stirred in his expressionless features.

'I'm certainly impressed at what I've seen at the academy, Cross-san. You've done an extremely worthy job.'

'You're too kind, Ichijou-san. I can hardly take all the credit. None of it would have been possible without Kuran-kun's assistance.'

'Ah, yes,' Ichijou leaned back and chuckled. 'That valuable pureblood influence must be quite a boon to you.'

At this, Kaname cast a sharp glance at his former guardian, fast, but not too fast for Zero to miss it. The pureblood returned his gaze to the knife in his hand, a slight frown now marring his smooth features.

Cross smiled politely. 'Indeed, in many ways, Kuran-kun's status is valuable to us, but that is not what I meant to express.' The chairman switched his gaze and smile, this one warmer, to Kaname. 'Your determination and devotion to our cause, Kaname-kun, is what I appreciate the most.' His eyes lingered on Kaname's for a long moment, and Zero, observing all of this keenly, wondered if the chairman was trying to communicate something to Kaname just as he was trying to. In any case, Kaname soon broke the long look, turning his eyes to the side.

The chairman seemed disappointed. 'I'm sure your former guardian is very proud of you, Kaname-kun.'

There was a look of slight distaste on Ichijou's face at that. 'Oh yes, I am indeed.' It was hard to tell if it was sarcasm that rang in his tone or sincerity. 'I never expected you to achieve such things, Kaname-sama. And what's more, to achieve them all alone. Quite splendid. Of course, I would have offered you a helping hand if you had asked. It would have saved you and Chairman Cross quite a struggle, I imagine.'

Zero watched Kaname's jaw clench and his eyes grow hard. The hunter tensed. He knew a dangerous beast ready to pounce when he saw one. Kaname, was, however, a dangerous beast with restraint, and Zero was relieved when the words that came from the pureblood's mouth were spoken quite calmly, barely laced with the anger that resonated in his aura.

'I wouldn't have dreamed of troubling you, Ichijou-san. I know you've always had your hands full with the council.' There was a moment of silence while Kaname took a sip of his wine. Zero was alarmed to see a tremor in his hand.

'In any case,' Ichijou replied with a wave of his hand, 'I believe you should be more grateful that it is a pureblood who agreed to help your cause, Cross-san. After all, it was only because of Kaname-sama's presence here that I allowed my grandson to attend the academy, and subsequently, only because of his presence that I myself am here right now.' The frown on Kaname's brow deepened.

'Truly, the value of our vampire hierarchy is lost on humans. I mean no offence, Cross-san. It is just that, being humans with no accurate insight into our society, of course you would not fully understand the way we work.

'In my opinion, Kaname-sama is putting up with a lot in this situation. To us, he is a _prince_. No, more than that, he is _sacred_. Naturally, we delight in doing his bidding and protecting him.' Zero looked over at Kaname. The pureblood looked momentarily sick. 'Take our current situation, for example. Your kindness, by the way, is much appreciated, Cross-san. But if you were, for a moment, to view it from the eyes of a noble less liberal than I... Here we have dining with a prince of vampires, you, a human who wishes to co-exist with our kind. And here, Kiryuu-san, an ex-human vampire and, what's more, a hunter!' Kaname's fingers twitched. 'In truth, quite ludicrous. And young Yuuki-san... in true vampire society, she would not be dining at the table of a pureblood prince. She would be dined _upon_ -'

'That's enough, Ichijou-san.' Kaname's voice was soft, but there was steel enough in it to stop all of their breaths for a moment. 'I think it is you who does not fully understand. This is not vampire society. This is a place that you and the council couldn't possibly comprehend, which is one of the reasons I broke away from your care. As for Chairman Cross, Yuuki, and Kiryuu-kun, they have my utmost respect and are my equals here at the academy.'

A knowing smirk spread over Ichijou's lips as he digested Kaname's words and the younger vampire stopped abruptly. His eyes widened and he looked away.

Zero didn't quite understand what had just happened. If he didn't know any better, he would say that in the process of standing up to Ichijou, Kaname had just been... defeated. It didn't make any sense. Or did it? Anxiety started to churn in the prefect's stomach as a slow realisation began to form. By standing up for the Crosses and Zero, was Kaname putting himself at risk? Was this old vampire really that much of a danger?

'Forgive me, Kaname-sama. I said too much. And I ask your forgiveness, Cross-san. It was indeed rude of me to presume that the values of Cross Academy could have any relation to those of vampire society. It was not my intention to offend.'

'I understand, Ichijou-san. You were merely trying to convey a different viewpoint. In fact, I find what you said quite intriguing.'

'Well, let us change the subject, shall we?' Ichijou's sharp gaze turned to Zero and it surprised the hunter so much that he had to stop himself from leaning back. So far, he had barely said a word and had been happy to let the conversation just flow over his head. Now, however, he found himself pinned by the old vampire's eyes.

'Kiryuu-san, I hear you have been of great help to Kaname-sama during his time here. I hope you have not run into any problems with the Night Class. I am aware that the young nobles can be quite... intolerant at times. They are rather protective of their prince, too.'

Zero chanced a look at Kaname before replying. The dark-haired boy was watching him with wary eyes that gave nothing away, but there was still that tremor in his hands. Zero looked back at Ichijou-san, who was patiently awaiting a response. He knew he was being baited, knew that once again his ex-human status was being picked at, but he couldn't hold back the irritated pitch of his tone. So he kept his answer short.

'No problems at all. I'm just glad to help.'

'...I see.' Dissatisfaction put a slight sneer on the vampire's face as he regarded Zero for a moment longer and then addressed Kaname at his side, dismissing the ex-human. 'Perhaps we should be going, Kaname-sama.'

* *

Kaname was relieved when Ichijou finally ended the dinner. He couldn't put up with much more stress. He already felt like he was about to fall apart and clatter to the floor in pieces. The dinner had been hell, he hadn't been able to concentrate on anything but keeping his guard up and not giving away too much, to any of the diners. And in the end, he had failed. He had said too much about the precious people around him, given Ichiou too much insight into what they meant to him. He was, at least, glad that Zero had the sense to not make the same mistake and hadn't risen to Ichiou's subtle bait.

'Chairman,' he said, rising. 'Sorry to cut the dinner short, but Ichijou-san has a plane to catch in the next few hours and we still have some business to attend to.'

'Of course, Kaname-kun.'

'Thank you for your hospitality, Cross-san,' Ichijou offered, rising as well and bowing gracefully. 'It has been a great pleasure.'

'The pleasure is all mine, Ichijou-san. Have a safe journey.'

'Thank you. There is no need for you to get up. Please, finish your meals in peace.' The noble and the pureblood headed towards the door, both as elegant as dancers. As Kaname stepped into the hallway, Ichijou paused and faced the diners once more.

'By the way, Yuuki-san.'

Yuuki glanced up with a smile, wide-eyes betraying her nervousness. 'Err... yes, Ichijou-san?'

'It is mere curiosity on my part, but, do you by chance have any siblings?'

'None besides Zero, Ichijou-san.' Not even a split-second of hesitation. Kaname couldn't hide how his face suddenly drained of colour. The reply caused him pain, yes. He didn't want to hear out loud the proof that Yuuki had forgotten her past, forgotten him, but right now, more importantly... Damn Ichijou. Damn him. Did he know the truth? About Yuuki? Had he known all this time? Kaname clenched his fist. What more did he know?

The young pureblood glanced at the chairman, finding the same shock on his features. The older man was doing a good job of hiding it, though. He didn't even glance in Kaname's direction, not until Ichijou had bidden them a good evening and stepped out into the hallway. Then, their eyes met, and Kaname knew that Chairman Cross felt the same worry in his heart.

_It's all right_, Kaname thought as he followed his former guardian out into the courtyard. _Nothing can be proven. He will be gone soon and everything will be as it was before he arrived_.

The only thing was, these past few days with Ichijou had changed Kaname more than he realised. He would never be as he was. Without noticing, he had stepped back into the darkness that he had thought he had escaped years ago. Those old feelings, they were back and he barely even noticed. The paranoia, the uncertainty in his own abilities, the resignation. The loneliness.

A warm hand on his arm halted his spiraling thoughts.

'Kiryuu-kun?'

'I'd like to see you safely back,' Zero said softly, meeting Kaname's gaze with gentle eyes. For a moment, the pureblood couldn't speak. That warmth, it soothed him. He felt himself take a hesitant step backwards, out of the darkness. He nodded once, and without a word, proceeded to where Ichijou stood, waiting.

'Is there something you need, Kiryuu-san?'

'It is my responsibility to see you safely back to the Moon Dorms, Ichijou-san,' Zero answered confidently, pressing forward, leading the way. Ichijou said nothing, merely kept pace with Kaname and followed the hunter.

They walked in silence at a leisurely speed. For the first time that evening, Kaname found himself able to breathe comfortably, even though at his side was the very monster that haunted his dreams. _Don't allow yourself to relax so easily, just because Kiryuu is here_. _Do you think he can protect you? _Kaname ignored the goading of his own mind. He didn't want Zero to protect him, he just wanted a little bit of comfort, a bit of hope, however brief, however slight. Was he not even allowed that?

_Then, can _you_ protect _him_?_

What? The thought twisted Kaname's gut. Protect him? Kaname looked over at Ichiou. The older vampire was watching Zero's back with a distinct look on his face. Kaname knew that look. He knew that look very well. It was hunger. Oh no. He shook his head, trying to dispel the dark thoughts that crept behind his eyes.

'Is something the matter, Kaname-sama?'

Kaname blinked. He hadn't realised he'd stopped walking. 'No, nothing.' He stepped forward. Zero was watching him with a concerned frown. _Don't look at me like that__. You're not the one who should look like that._ Ichijou was watching him, too, with something like amusement stretching the skin across his cheeks. Damn him. He could read Kaname like a book, and the young vampire knew it. It made his stomach churn and his pulse race.

He watched Zero. Had he put the hunter in danger? By allowing him to be here, under the watchful eye of this monster, had he risked the silver-haired boy's life? How selfish, how careless of him. He should have rejected Zero's presence, should have sent him back into the chairman's house. He should have refused Zero that first chess game. He should never have started calling him by his given name.

He should never have even allowed Ichijou to attend dinner with the Crosses. He had been so careless. He had endangered them all, just by exposing them to Ichijou's presence. No, it went further back than that. He should never have allowed himself to become so close to them. He should have kept his distance from Yuuki, he should not have visited the chairman's home so often.

He should have allowed Zero to stab him in the heart with that knife, all those years ago.

He should have let himself die, along with his parents.

There was a thud as Kaname's boot hit the Moon Dorm Steps. He stopped abruptly, hoping that his companions hadn't noticed his lapse. He glanced up in surprise, seeing Ichiou enter the building ahead of him.

'We should get started immediately, Kaname-sama,' the older vampire called over his shoulder. 'I will prepare the documents.' He disappeared inside.

Kaname was about to follow, when he remembered Zero's presence. 'Thank you, Kiryuu-kun. You should return now.'

'When did I stop being _Zero_ to you?'

The words caught Kaname by surprise. He faltered for a moment, and then asked, 'is there something wrong with being called by your surname?'

'Yes, when it means a wall is being put in front of me and I can't even understand why.' Always to the point, Zero was.

'In a formal situation, Kiryuu-kun, it's best for me to not address you so familiarly. You should know that, at least.'

'We're not in a formal situation, now, Kaname. It's just the two of us. If you're afraid of that old man hearing, we can both sense that he's on the other side of the building right now, way out of earshot. Who are you trying to fool?'

_Don't have this conversation. You can't afford to. If you want to protect him, don't let him back in._

'You're thinking too much into this,' Kaname replied coolly. 'Now if you don't mind, I have to go.' He reached for the door handle.

'What the hell is wrong with you, Kaname? You're so different. I don't think you even realise it.' Kaname stared blindly at the handle in his grip. Oh, he realised it, now. 'I don't know what's going on with you, but I know that something isn't right, and I know it has to do with that man in there. If there is something, anything, I can do to help you, let me. Don't push me away.'

_Push him away_. 'Sorry, Kiryuu-kun, but I don't have time to stand out here.' Kaname was too tired to fight, to explain himself, to make up excuses. Too tired, even, to lead Zero away from his speculations. The hunter already knew something was wrong. To just leave it at that would be fine, as long as Zero didn't get any closer. In the swirl of darkness that his mind had slowly dropped into, Kaname had already made a decision. Not only for his own sake, but for the sake of the people around him, he would make himself untouchable. He would no longer entertain the idea of having friends, or even family. If all his relationships could do was endanger the people he loved, then it would be better to not have any. First his parents, then Yuuki, the chairman and now Zero. Because of him, none of them were safe. Two of them were dead because of him. Because he couldn't protect them.

If Kaname was overreacting, he barely noticed and frankly, he didn't care. This was what he had been reduced to. This was how far he had allowed himself to fall, a pureblood, a Kuran, all because of one man. A mere noble. The darkness was closing in, and he welcomed it.

Suddenly, a hand closed around his arm, gentle and warm.

'Then just give me a moment,' a low voice murmured as warmth enveloped Kaname's shoulders. He felt himself being wrapped in an embrace that he couldn't pull away from. He didn't want to. 'Before you fall apart, Kaname,' Zero added softly.

_No. No, no, no. This can't happen._ Kaname shivered in Zero's arms, his body tense, unsure of whether to push the other boy away or pull him closer. This wasn't good. He shouldn't have allowed this. He needed to distance himself from the hunter. If Ichiou were to see them...

'Stop thinking, Kaname, and let yourself relax for a moment.'

'Zero...' The silver-haired boy was so warm. Kaname felt the comfort from before that allowed him to breathe easily. His muscles gradually relaxed and his trembling increased, but only because he was no longer suppressing it. Right at this moment, he felt that he could show weakness to this person. No matter what he had been thinking a few moments ago, his mind once again felt calm, and clear. He felt hope.

'Zero,' he finally whispered. 'If you want to help me,' he brought his arms up around the other boy's back. 'If you want to help me, then, this... this is all you need to do.' Zero nodded, his cheek brushing against Kaname's and he tightened his arms, pressing their bodies closer.

'This is all.'


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has waited so long for this and is still interested in reading! I'm considering changing the genre to romance, rather than friendship. Depends on where the muse takes me. Let me know your thoughts! Without further ado, I present chapter 7.

* * *

The warmth of Kiryuu Zero's body and eyes still lingered on the young pureblood's skin as he strode through the corridors of the empty Moon Dorms. He felt lighter, the memory of Zero's touch lending him a momentary burst of strength that flowed through his limbs. It dissipated as soon as he walked into his private chambers to see Ichijou sitting comfortably at his desk, looking as if he had no intention of moving any time soon. Well, it wasn't as if Kaname had not known all along that he was there. It had been pleasant, though, to simply not care for the briefest of moments.

Kaname left the door open and paused a step away from it.

'The car will be here shortly,' he declared, eyes fixed on the older vampire.

'Thank you. Come here, Kaname. Close the door.'

Kaname closed the door, but remained where he was. 'We have paperwork to go through before you leave, do we not?'

Ichijou waved a hand dismissively in the air. 'That can wait until the next time we meet. And it won't be long until then, I'm sure.' He bared his teeth in a sneer disguised as a smile, and didn't hide the hunger in his eyes as he let them roam over Kaname's body.

The youth did not look away. It wouldn't be much longer now, until this nightmare was gone and he could breathe. He just had to hold on for a few minutes more. The strength that Zero had given him was still there, inside, a diamond nestled within the fear and rage and darkness that clouded his heart. He could bear this for a little longer.

'Kaname...' Ichijou was suddenly on his feet and standing in front of the pureblood. 'I will miss you,' he murmured, cradling Kaname's face between his hands gently, as a parent or lover would. Kaname went stock-still. 'We were so intimate once, were we not?' His voice was soft, but crisp as the crackle of lightning. The intense desire in his eyes frightened the younger man.

The cold fingers cupping Kaname's face suddenly became hard and claw-like. Nails dug into his skin, threatening to draw blood as his voice took on a musing tone. 'The things I desire from you, Kaname, I'm sure you know some of them. There are things that all vampires, even those in your closest circle, want; your title, your power, your blood. Your body.' The fingers roughly drew Kaname's face closer to Ichijou's, until their lips met in a harsh kiss. The younger man did not struggle, even when his former guardian's tongue forced it's way into his mouth. An arm snaked under his shirt and around his waist and he felt himself being pulled tightly against the bodily evidence of the man's fierce desire. Still, he did not struggle; this was nothing compared to what he had already been through. The realisation that by now, this barely affected him sent a wave of self-repulsion coursing through Kaname.

Ichijou felt the shudder and broke the kiss, dragging his lips over Kaname's chin, savouring the ivory skin of his neck. Kaname could hear the older vampire's breathing become heavier as he surely felt the pulse beneath his lips quicken. He moved up to Kaname's ear, moist breath making the pureblood turn his face to the side.

'Of course,' Ichijou continued, 'to have you, a Kuran, as a political puppet is a dream for any of the more ambitious of our kind. And we both know that I am ambitious, Kaname. But that couldn't possibly satisfy me, not after what I have tasted. I want more. I want to _own _you. I want the submission in your eyes, I want the quiver in your hands, the sheen of your naked skin.' Kisses that were too rough, too possessive to really be called kisses accentuated each phrase, each expression of desire, trailing up and down Kaname's neck. Ichijou's voice became a low rasp, thick with hunger. 'The taste of your sweat. I want to see you _break_.'

With that, Kaname finally allowed his body to move, stepping forcefully out of the reach of his former guardian's wandering hands. He did not miss the way that Ichijou had relented, allowing himself to be brushed off. Allowing Kaname to escape. The youth shuddered again at the realisation of his own vulnerability, and inside him, a great, sickening lump of darkness and terror suddenly churned, trying to tear its way up out of his throat. His vision dimmed and he clamped a hand over his mouth, fighting back a scream. His breath came in harsh gasps. No. No no no. Was he going to break down now, of all times? Even though he had turned away from Ichijou, he could feel the other man's triumphant eyes planted on his back. Pushing him. Cheering on this abrupt tumult of suffocating emotions. And try as he might, Kaname could not push back.

He strode to the door and yanked it open, wincing at the way his hand shook. Quivered. He steadied himself as he walked out into the corridor and headed for the main door, where the car would eventually come to pick up Ichijou Asato and take him away from here.

He felt a jolt of nausea when he Ichijou's voice followed him down the corridor. 'We haven't finished our conversation, Kaname, my boy.' A hand firmly grasped Kaname's wrist and tried to pull him to a standstill, but the pureblood tore his arm out of the hold with a snarl and continued walking. There was a pause, and then the breath flew out of him as he was shoved gracelessly against the wall. Ichijou's arm pressed into his chest, holding him back, although the pureblood did not struggle.

'My, my. You're a pureblood. You should have felt that coming.'

_ I did_. Kaname told himself accusingly. But he hadn't reacted.

'We haven't finished talking. There is more that I wish to say to you.'

'I think,' Kaname's mouth was dry and he had to swallow to continue. 'I think I can guess what you have to say to me, and I don't wish to hear it.' Ichijou smirked. 'So let go of me.'

'As you wish, my lord.'

The pressure on Kaname's chest was withdrawn, but the noble vampire did not step back. He watched as Kaname struggled to keep his expression calm, mildly impressed that even though he was obviously in a state of severe distress, the pureblood still made sure to meet his gaze firmly and challengingly. And he was in no condition to challenge anyone.

Kaname briefly imagined what the night class would say or think if they were to see him in this situation. Seeing their precious pureblood leader tolerate – no, not tolerate, submit to – such indignity both verbal and physical would surely have them sneering in disgust and disappointment. Even Takuma would scoff at him, and perhaps even resent him all the more for making his grandfather seem a villain.

A low chuckle from Ichijou tore into Kaname's jumbled thoughts. 'I believe I already own you, Kaname. Look at you. Pitiable. And so beautiful.' He laughed again, the sound as ill-natured as any Kaname could imagine. 'Do not worry, I won't touch you again. My car is here. But I will have you listen to me, before I leave. Tell me, my pureblood prince, what is stopping you from tearing off my head?'

Silence.

'Oh, come now. We both know that you are capable of it. And quite entitled to do so, considering the circumstances.' This was added with a wry, tooth-revealing smirk. 'You could render me a pile of stinking dust and be praised for it, and yet here we are, cat and mouse, with you trembling at the very sound of my voice. Tell me why.'

Inexplicable panic tore through Kaname's chest. He felt sicker than he'd ever felt before. He fought to slow his breath. Why? Ichijou asked. If he didn't already know the answer, he would never have begun this hideous game. Kaname knew the answer, but it wasn't something he could articulate. His eyes broke away from Ichijou's expectant stare and settled on the man's thin lips and the way they twisted in condescension.

'Is it because we both have something to gain from this?'

Silence.

'Or rather, is it that were you to tear off my head, you would lose everything?' A cruel laugh. 'Or every_one_.' Kaname's eyes closed. 'It seems it is a case of both.' Ichijou pulled away slowly. 'For a pureblood, Kuran Kaname, you are very foolish. But wise enough to know when to yield. I'll give you that. Come to me before the end of the month. I will see myself out.'

* * *

Kaname wasn't sure exactly how long it had been since Ichijou had closed the door and disappeared, but he knew it couldn't have been too long because he was still standing against the wall, where the older vampire had left him.

'Kaname?'

The pureblood opened his eyes, although he hadn't known they were closed, and saw Zero standing at the doorway.

'I saw the car leave a while ago, so I thought...' He paused. 'Are you all right?'

Kaname watched wordlessly as the hunter cautiously crossed the room to where he leaned against the wall. His body was tense. Zero always seemed to notice when something was wrong. Or was it that he could feel the aura radiating from the pureblood? Kaname couldn't tell if he even had an aura at this moment. He absently wondered what it would feel like, to Zero.

But something was indeed wrong. Kaname acknowledged this while ignoring it at the same time. He felt like he could barely see. Oh, his eyes knew Zero was standing there before him with that suspicious, concerned look on his face, they knew that the door still stood slightly ajar and that only one of the lights in the large room was turned on and that there was a small table sporting a decorative blue vase about two metres to his left. And yet, he felt like everything around him was thin and dark and obscured from his vision. His hearing suffered, too. Zero was saying something, and although Kaname understood the words, he was under the strange impression that they were not real, and thus there was no need to respond.

_I want to see you break._ Suddenly, the words from earlier echoed through his mind, and Kaname flinched. He stared at Zero, who was staring at him. Zero had not said those words. Kaname knew whose words they were, and he knew that it was those words that were crushing him right now. Oh, God. In a moment of clarity that it seemed only the insane are ever privy to, Kaname realised _why_ he had so easily begun to come apart on hearing those words. He realised _why_ he had so easily – so willingly – been able to play the vulnerable victim around Ichijou. He realised _why_ right now, he so wanted to feel the touch of fingers and lips warming his cold skin. He was already a puppet, a slave, a _whore_ to that man, and he would do anything that he asked, even break for him. Because at least it meant that he, Kuran Kaname, was worth something.

Kaname couldn't remember moving, but he suddenly found himself pressed against Zero, his hands desperately clinging onto the hunter's back. He could feel the tension and resistance in Zero's body, and it only served to make the pureblood's embrace even tighter. He pressed his face into Zero's neck, breathing in the smell of warmth and life. There was blood coursing beneath that delicate skin, but it was not what Kaname needed right now. He began to press insistent kisses against Zero's flesh, tracing a trail over the hunter's jaw to his lips. He was aware that his breath was once again coming in tight gasps. He was aware of everything.

And then everything stopped.

* * *

The air in the room had become suffocating. Zero's arms wavered at his sides, not sure whether they should push the pureblood away or hold him. This was not like the embrace they had shared earlier that day. This was... frightening. He felt Kaname's lips brush his neck and he instinctively tensed up even further, ready to fight if he had to. And then he felt the first kiss, and his arms dropped.

Zero was in utter shock for a long moment, able to do nothing but feel the trace of Kaname's lips travelling up his neck towards his jaw.

'Kaname...? What are you...?' Zero could hear Kuran's laboured breathing, could feel the desperation in his movements, but he could not see his face. 'Kaname, wait. Wait a second, stop.' He tried to urge Kaname to stop, to look at him, but words could not make the dark-haired youth respond. The hunter grasped his upper arms and tried to push him away, gently, but the pureblood only held on tighter.

When Zero felt soft lips press urgently against his, his mind went blank. The kiss was hard, needy, passionate, and although he knew it was Kuran Kaname kissing him, Zero almost felt the urge to reciprocate. It was only when he felt Kaname reach up, take the hunter's hands from his arms and slip them underneath his own shirt, that Zero came back to his senses and tore his hands away from the firm skin they had been so close to indulgently caressing. Instead, he placed them on either side of Kaname's face and gently but firmly pulled away those attacking lips. Honestly, Zero was so dazed by this completely uncharacteristic behaviour that he barely knew how to react. He only knew that Kaname should stop, and that Kaname's blasted pureblood aura was suddenly exerting so much stifling pressure that he wanted to scream.

Surprisingly, the young brunette did not resist when Zero pulled his face away, but released Zero and settled back, his eyes watching Zero steadily. The hunter found himself disturbed by the expression on Kaname's face. The calm in that expression was so at odds with the terrible aura that was being emitted, it confused Zero.

'Kaname?' He ventured softly. He searched Kaname's eyes and found the same calm in them, although this calm was brittle and dangerous. 'Kaname, what the hell is... I mean...' Zero didn't even know what to say. 'You.. you kissed me!'

At this, the aura pulsed violently, and Zero winced in discomfort. Kaname let out a breath that seemed to be a laugh, and nodded.

'Yes, I did.'

'You... are you all right?' The aura was becoming heavier and heavier. It was starting to feel black and murderous. Zero felt the urge to run away, but his concern for the pureblood stilled his feet. Had something happened? Had he again failed to protect Kaname?

The words seemed to bother the dark-haired boy, and his brow creased. He slowly shook his head, not in reply, but as if he didn't understand the question. His breathing was still too fast and short.

'Let's... let's sit down.' Zero began to lead his friend towards a chair, but was met with resistance.

'I'd rather stand.' The words were murmured quietly and absently, as if half-dreamed. The aura thickened and seemed to howl in Zero's ear. He winced again and took a deep breath. By now, he was well aware of the minute cracks in the high windows and in the mirror that hung not far from Kaname's left shoulder. He warily watched a crack extend and tensed, waiting for all of the glass in the building to implode. He was reminded of that time in Kaname's room, when Zero had breached the subject of Ichijou. Kaname had certainly been angry, distressed, then. But he had been lucid and recovered quickly. This was a hundred times worse. This was dangerous. Zero didn't know what to do. He wanted to calm Kaname down, but the pureblood seemed barely aware of what was happening. Barely aware that he even needed calming. A surge of protective anger rose in Zero as he pondered what might have lead to this. Ichijou. Damn him.

'Kaname, I really think we should sit down. Or at least, go over there.' His head was pounding in time with the pureblood aura, making it hard to think. The cracks in the mirror were hissing and multiplying. 'Really.'

There was no reply, and when Zero tried to lead him away again, Kaname didn't make a move. His eyes were now fixed on Zero accusingly, the same look he had given the hunter back when they had met before he left for the business trip, and Zero felt a jolt of fear.

'Please,' he said softly, giving Kaname's arm another gentle pull. At this, Kaname snatched his arm away with a snarl. That did it. A second later, the aura swelled painfully, and Zero stifled a pained groan before the mirror shattered and sent its fragments flying.

Zero came back to his senses moments later to find himself crouching on the floor with blood on his hands and pain in the arm he had flung up at the last minute to shield his face. His eyes immediately sought out Kaname, who still stood near the wall, staring down at Zero like he was a piece of meat. Predictably, the shards of glass had not touched him. And his eyes burned crimson.

_This is it_, Zero thought resignedly. _Kuran's gone crazy. He's going to eat me_. The hunter stood up slowly, eyes never leaving Kaname's face, and brushed the glass off his sleeve. For a tense moment, the two of them merely faced each other, and then, so suddenly that Zero was left winded, the red bled out of Kaname's eyes and the terrible aura receded. Zero realised that his brunette friend had finally reigned it in.

'Sorry. I'm so sorry... Zero, I...' Kaname's voice was soft and filled with uncertainty and despair. 'Are you all right?' His hands reached out towards Zero, but he seemed afraid to touch him. 'I don't know what I was doing, I – I – I'm so sorry...'

'Kaname, I'm fine.' The relief Zero felt was so palpable he could feel it in his lungs as he spoke. 'I'm really fine.' He reached out and brushed one of the hands that were so reluctant to touch him, and was surprised when it was yanked away. This worried Zero to no end. He stared at the pureblood and was shocked to see the raw expression marring his usually-tranquil features. Kaname seemed to be warring with something inside himself, and would not meet Zero's eyes although his gaze roamed the hunter's body, checking for injuries. He was still breathing abnormally, as if he could not get enough air.

'I'm more worried about you.' Zero stepped closer and reached out again. He was alarmed to see Kaname flinch away from his touch and move back against the wall. 'Kaname? I'm not going to hurt you...' He trailed off, confused.

'I know. But I might hurt you.' The voice was clear and strong, getting his point across directly. Kaname chose that moment to look into Zero's eyes, and the silver-haired boy could see that his friend was still by no means calm. He was for some reason reminded of the kiss that had happened moments ago.

'I can take care of myself, Kaname. Let me help you.'

'You should leave, Zero. If you want... you can come back later. Right now, I – I need to be alone.'

'I don't want to leave you alone.'

'It would be best for both of us.'

Zero hesitated.

'Damn it, Kiryuu, get out!' The building vibrated and Zero flinched. But stood his ground. Although the painful aura had receded, it was still by no means terrifying to be in such close proximity to a mentally unstable pureblood. Every logical fibre of his being urged him to do as Kuran said and leave _now_, but Zero's heart would not let him.

'GET OUT!' A window burst into pieces on the other side of the room. Zero said goodbye to sense and surged forward, planting his arms on the wall on either side of Kaname so that their faces were centimetres apart. The hunter knew that cornering an enraged and desperate pureblood vampire was the most idiotic plan anyone had ever come up with, but he had faith in this enraged and desperate pureblood vampire. Albeit stupidly, he trusted him enough to test the limits of his impeccable control.

Two seconds later, the look on Kaname's face made Zero regret his actions. Before he was torn apart, the hunter took another leap of faith, and leaned forward until his lips touched Kaname's. The contact made the pureblood

freeze instantly. Zero was about to pull away, when he felt the soft mouth press against his more urgently. He felt Kaname's lips part and the warmth of his breath made the silver-haired youth shiver. He parted his own lips and allowed the heat that was Kaname's tongue to surge against his. The other boy pushed against him desperately, and gave a low moan. It was not a moan of pleasure, but one of distress and it was only then that Zero realised that he had not even been returning the kiss, although he had initiated it. But he couldn't return it. He felt beyond uncomfortable. He was a little bit frightened, and overwhelmingly sad. He did not want this kiss that was so full of pain.

He allowed it for a moment more, something in him thrilled and yet repulsed at the warm mouth moving against his, and almost sighed in relief when Kaname finally broke away. Immediately the pureblood lowered his head to Zero's shoulder, but still did not touch him with his hands.

'I'm sorry. Thank you,' he murmured breathlessly, 'thank you, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.' Zero's arms curled protectively around the trembling body and embraced him tightly. Apology and gratitude tumbled feverishly from the young pureblood's lips, over and over, and all the hunter could do was hold him and fight back the tears that suddenly wanted to spill.


End file.
